It's MAY already????

My baby girl turned 20 on the 2nd! Happy Birthday PunkyNoodles! (On just a side note- The last time I had posted she had turned 20. She is 21 now!)

Let see what has been going on to tilt the tiara.

Migraines- Holy store bought guacamole Batman! I have never dealt with these gems on a regular basis in the past. An occasional 'you are getting on my nerves' brain-pain once in a while, that's about it. Something about laying in bed with a mask on, cursing those HUGE bedroom windows you fell in love with when you first looked at the apartment. Eating Exedrin like they are albino Skittles. Asking anyone and anything around you to please strap down pillows to their feet. (Note: Cats tend to fall off stuff in this state) Finally a trip to see my P.A. Which means a trip to the good old BingBong Tube (aka MRI machine). Now let me get this straight. My head hurts. My head hurts SO bad that I am vomiting someone else's dinner. Yet the way to see WHY it hurts is to stick my head in a Hannibal Lechter face cage that makes LOUD noise for 45 minutes??? After 15 minutes, you realize "I can dance to this" and you start dreaming of trips to Fiji for some tribal drum music. So out of nowhere, the Darth Technician comes through on the microphone right behind you (messing up your groove) and says - "Have you ever had a head injury?" I nearly pissed myself. I mentioned the head lump I had removed about 6 yrs ago (Sebaceous cyst). He makes scary hmmm-ing sounds. End result? I have migraines (WELL DUH????) Why? Unknown..... sigh..... So my doc decides I am going to start a regimen of Topamax ( http://www.topamax.com/topamax/index.html ) Yay! OK, so I yay'd til my doc and she said - It causes some people to 'get dumb'. Uhmmmmm Meaning? Meaning they sorta kinda lose track of what they are talking about, forget things, stuff like that. To me, that's normal crap that comes with age- no biggy. Then I spoke to someone else, and she had nicknamed the drug Dope-a-Max- for the very same reason. Oh Joy! But so far, it has been a week and I have yet to have another migraine experience. Wish me luck!!!

And how have YOU been?

9 Words women say (and men should fear)

(1) "Fine": This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) "Five Minutes": If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) "Nothing": This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) "Go Ahead": This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) "Loud Sigh": This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) "That's Okay": This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) "Thanks": A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').

(8) "Whatever": Is a woman's way of saying F--- YOU!

(9) "Don't worry about it, I'll do it": Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.